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    Tennis
    13 December 2005
    Cat's Health Question & Answer Session

    Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
    A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
    A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
    Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
    A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
    A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
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    Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
    A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
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    Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
    A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
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    Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
    A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
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    Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
    A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!!It's the best feel-good food around!
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    Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
    A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
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    Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
    A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"
    =^..^=
    posted by Bravecat @ 12:05 pm  
    7 Comments:
    • At 13/12/2005, 13:58, Blogger Tusa said…

      Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
      A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

      LOL! I like that... you have a wicked sense of humor QC!

      Tusa

       
    • At 13/12/2005, 17:00, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Thanks girl! Glad you liked it! :^) Only it wasn't me who wrote this stuff, as much as I would like people to think so!

       
    • At 14/12/2005, 08:03, Blogger Namika said…

      OMG looooooooooooooooooooool that was so funny.. i loved it. specially this one..

      Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
      A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

      and this..

      Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
      A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

      :D

       
    • At 14/12/2005, 18:20, Blogger McArabian said…

      LOOOL!! I loved the concluding paragraph! I might sig that for my email. That was fun to read! :)

       
    • At 14/12/2005, 18:55, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Namika,

      LOL I still laugh myself when I read these! :^)

      McA - you are most welcome! Oh and in the meantime I am waiting for the next "write a caption" picture post!

      =^..^=

       
    • At 15/12/2005, 01:06, Blogger TANTALIZE said…

      Sarcasm will get you everywhere, including a 10th life.

      ;^)

       
    • At 15/12/2005, 09:05, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Tanta... I am one of the radioactive cats :^) We've got 18!

      =^..^=

       
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