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    Tennis
    15 December 2005
    A little bit of politics on my mind...
    I’ve been toying around with the idea of writing a political (!) piece for a while now, and I guess the time has come. Why now? Mostly because I have nothing else to write about at the moment, and also because I was greatly amused by two articles I have just read. First article is about Iranian leader claiming Holocaust was a hoax. Wow. You don’t have to be super smart to know that statements like that will not go down well. Now I wasn’t around to witness first hand whether there was Holocaust or not, but then again, neither was he. Between the two of us, HE is the one to claim there wasn’t any such thing. Woo hoo, by definition that makes me WAY smarter than Iranian leader! Duh...
    Second article is an interview out of Marie Claire (thanks H for bringing the glossies to the poor hospitalised cat… I finally got round to reading them all!). The interview in question is with a British Muslim girl (forgive me for not including her name here, you can find the whole piece in UK edition of MC, October 2005) who claims quite adamantly that Quran was used as … wait, let me go get it so I could write the exact words… OK here goes: “It’s just ignorant to assume that the Quran cannot be used to justify terrorism, because it can and it has been”. And more: “I heard quite a lot of Muslims saying that the [terrorist] attacks had nothing to do with Islam, but that’s just not true. They have everything to do with Islam, because the people who carried it out did it in the name of Islam”. Now here is another shining example of an outspoken person with an opinion. Just please don’t ask me what I think about it, I am merely describing something that caught my attention.
    So back to my political post. As I live in the Middle East I will concentrate my observations on Qatar and its next door neighbours… Enjoy!

    Examples of the political systems:

    SOCIALISM:
    You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.

    COMMUNISM:
    You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

    NAZISM:
    You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.

    CAPITALISM:
    You have 2 cows. You sell one, invest the money in the top notch milking equipment for the other, and spend most of the profit on tax to keep all the immigrants fed.


    How it works in the Middle East:

    DUBAI SYSTEM:
    You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a Cow City or Milk Town for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legitimate and shady investors who hope to sell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cows first to attract attention.

    QATAR SYSTEM:
    You have two cows. They've been sitting there for decades and no one realizes that cows can produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing; you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows’ boobs in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.

    BAHRAIN SYSTEM:
    You have two cows. Some high government official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The government tells you there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the government and carry Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 months, decides to employ ten Bahrainis to milk the cow at the same time to cut back on unemployment.

    SAUDI SYSTEM:
    Since milking the cow involves nipples the government decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow on one side of the curtain and the guy milking the cow on the other.

    =^..^=
    posted by Bravecat @ 7:22 pm  
    22 Comments:
    • At 15/12/2005, 20:21, Anonymous James said…

      :))

      Goooood One QC.That had me rolling.Good Weekend Laugh Mate!!


      YAY Me First!!

       
    • At 15/12/2005, 21:18, Blogger Tusa said…

      LOL! I agree with James ;) we needed a laugh :D

       
    • At 16/12/2005, 06:22, Blogger Rockin' Hejabi said…

      Nice parody...I have a lot of political things to say too, but have hesitated to say too much. Don't want to be on the next flight back to the States!

      Good idea!

       
    • At 16/12/2005, 17:20, Blogger U.E. said…

      HA HA HA! I've heard part of that before but I LOVED the middle east addition. I'm not so good at this... but let me try Kuwait:

      You have two cows. Immigrant laborer pays you too come live in your barn and milk the cows. You sell the milk to the West and they decide milk is a good thing so they come to Kuwait, set up camps near the border to cross into other countries and rule THEIR cows.

      Wait... was this about cows? Or milk? I'm confused. ;-)

       
    • At 16/12/2005, 18:09, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      James and Tusa - you guys are suckers for giggles, aren't ya? :^) Will try to keep you happy!

      Rockin' Hejabi - welcome to my blog! Whenever you want to say anything political, here is one place where you can do so! :^)

      UE - well, milk or cows, doesn't matter. As long as it represents the system its fine. But yours isn't about Kuwaiti system, it's about the West abusing Kuwaiti cows!

      =^..^=

       
    • At 16/12/2005, 18:49, Blogger Islander said…

      :) QC i have to say i enjoyed reading this post alot. probably one of the best i ever come to so far :)

      u need to add something about kuwait and oman ;)

       
    • At 16/12/2005, 21:31, Blogger Kazablanka said…

      LOL!

      Yeah u need to add Oman!!! :)

       
    • At 16/12/2005, 23:16, Blogger Violet83 said…

      looooooool i never thought politics could be so interesting like that hehe, i'll tell you how it is here in Oman
      you have a cow, you milk it and keep all the milk in your fridge till it expires! never show it to anyone but yourself, never make use of it! and after death your kids fight for it and do exactly the same, and about the government, it has no idea we have milk!!

       
    • At 17/12/2005, 01:07, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Yup guys I have to admit my GCC cow enterprise is two countries short... I don't know much about Omani and Kuwaiti politics so all suggestions are welcome!
      Violet I loved your system idea, is it really like that in Oman? What do cows represent?

      Keep them coming! :^)

       
    • At 17/12/2005, 11:00, Blogger Degoat said…

      LoL... i'll try to come up with omans if i can

      G

       
    • At 17/12/2005, 11:09, Blogger Degoat said…

      ok this is how Oman actually operates now..

      Omani System:

      You have two cows, one cow is not touched due to a back-up plan. The other cow is only milked 10% per month and the government claims thats due to traditional reasons and culture behaviour.

      G

       
    • At 17/12/2005, 11:48, Blogger Wardat_il'7leej said…

      Hahaha that was funny.

      Solution
      Saudi dilemma have fully veiled women milk cow and determine if they have been sexually subjected to any evil thoughts.

      Dubai: stop milking the cows and focus on goats

      Qatar: cow or no cow its all going to turn to butter

      Bahrain: introduce the cows and allow people to live in peace with no pocketing of money, oh and sell more land for cows.

      I wonder how Oman would flare in this scenario: You have two cows you Omanise the employees who milk the cow, and get yoghurt. You buy the other cow and wait for 10years before you can sell it for a profit.

       
    • At 17/12/2005, 19:58, Blogger Violet83 said…

      Ministers, business men anyone with money!

       
    • At 17/12/2005, 23:39, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Degoat, this is so neat! :^) Sounds really like Oman, all culture and tradition.

      Warda.. You've got solutions for all! I like the Qatari butter, hehe. Only I thought you would bring up goats in Oman, not Dubai!

      Violet, I get your point! :^)

      More more more! :^)

      =^..^=

       
    • At 18/12/2005, 16:56, Blogger Dotsson said…

      Hahahahahaha! That was some funny shit QC! You need to stick with writing about politics :P

       
    • At 18/12/2005, 17:42, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Dot,

      I am not talking to you, and you know why :p

       
    • At 19/12/2005, 23:32, Blogger TANTALIZE said…

      Kuwaiti System: You have 2 healthy cows and each one milks the other and only overly sour liban comes out.

      ;^)

       
    • At 20/12/2005, 09:18, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Tanta... you've got to be kidding! You mean your cows are over advanced but lacking in substance?

      :^)

       
    • At 26/12/2005, 16:17, Anonymous MSM said…

      I found your comments on the gulf political system very funny i must admit, that i couldn't help but forward it to my friends and one of them responded with the Omani System - behold:

      Oman System:
      You have two cows. After a huge public speech in which you declare cow milking as a landmark initiative and appointing a new government body in charge of cow milking. You first spend a year doing nothing, then you spend 1 year on planning to milk them properly and safely, another one year to get the proper ministry approvals to milk them. By the time you actually get around to milking the cows, the cows are dead.

      hehe Enjoy!!

       
    • At 26/12/2005, 17:56, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      MSM,

      Thanks, it's great! :^)
      I'll see what my Omani friends have to say about it!

      Merry Xmas!

      =^..^=

       
    • At 02/01/2006, 23:58, Anonymous Anonymous said…

      I totally do not agree with anything u say. Just one thing i really have an urge to ask? How long have u been living in the gulf to critisize their goverments. Why do u even care the way they milk there cows, u r such a stereotype, just wat we're missing.

       
    • At 03/01/2006, 10:30, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Anon.. how long have you been living so that you don't even have a name yet? :^) Get one, and then we'll talk!

      =^..^=

       
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