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    13 February 2007
    Is it worth it?
    The following post is on loan, it wasn't written by me, and will be featured here for a few days during Valentine's celebrations. The writer of this beautiful piece is no longer blogging.


    Is She Worth It?


    Relationships are hard. They are hard to start, hard to maintain and hard to end. Relationships are also complicated. No matter what we say, any relationship worth having is both hard and complicated. The question that I often ask myself when I look at a woman is: Is she worth it? You see, in my opinion when I start a relationship, I take on a series of responsibilities and challenges. Starting a relationship means not running away at the first sign of trouble, it means sticking by her during the good times and the bad times, it means accepting the unacceptable, it means compromising on what you thought was un-compromisable, it means swallowing your pride to preserve hers, it means loosing yourself so that she can find herself. These are not easy things to do. But once you start the relationship, this is what you must be prepared to go through.

    So, back to my question: “Is she worth it?”. “Would I be willing to go through the gates of hell for her?”. If the answer is no, then better to walk away. I always feel that relationships are out of 10. If one party gives 8, the other will give 2, if one party gives 4 the other will give 6. When I explain this concept to most people, they immediately assume that the successful relationships are those where both give 5. This is, in my opinion, not correct. Successful relationships are those where the numbers change constantly and no one keeps track.

    Unfortunately it is very difficult not to keep track. It’s human nature. It is human nature to bicker and count mistakes and to re-open dead issues over and over and over again. That’s just the way we are. It takes a supreme effort that goes against everything we stand for as human beings to not do that. So, my second question for a relationship is “Is she worth it?”. Is she worth that effort? When the day comes that I have to choose between her and the bickering, who/what will my choice be?

    Relationships are hard. They end. They end badly. They end in disaster. And they hurt. However, there are also good things in relationships: The companionship, the closeness, the sharing, the intimacy, the comfort and so much more. How do you balance those two? For me, I simply try to weight one against the other and just ask myself “Is she worth it? Is she worth the risk?

    The beauty about such a question is that it really allows me to test everything against it. For me, it just comes down to that simple equation. Is everything that will happen next worth the risk of what might happen afterwards?

    I know it might sound selfish at first glance. But when you really look at it, it is not really. It is a question that insures that I will try my very best, each and every time. No compromises on that. If she’s worth it, then she deserves my best, nothing less.
    posted by Bravecat @ 1:39 pm  
    13 Comments:
    • At 13/02/2007, 15:19, Blogger Haroun El Poussah said…

      Great Post :)

       
    • At 13/02/2007, 15:21, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      I know! :P

      Hey, I did link to you. It's not like I stole it or anything!

       
    • At 13/02/2007, 17:09, Blogger Sever said…

      Sadness is everywhere.

      You are posting like a crazy blogger, every day. Like going to leav.

      & she is worth it. At least now. Of course after a while she will not be. As usual in this life :-/

       
    • At 13/02/2007, 20:33, Blogger Safa said…

      Are you in Dubai yet?

       
    • At 13/02/2007, 20:38, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Sever,

      You are right, in so many ways. And yes, I am leaving. That's why I am sad...

      Safa,

      Not till the end of the month!

       
    • At 14/02/2007, 05:35, Blogger Ian said…

      An interesting read! Happy Valentine's Day!

       
    • At 14/02/2007, 14:09, Blogger U.E. said…

      Nice. I like it. :)

      Much better than the usual mush Valentines post. Mwah!

      Happy Valentines Day love.

       
    • At 14/02/2007, 17:21, Blogger Ian said…

      Cat:

      Thanks for the comment. I have added your blog to my roll. I popped over to your site from Kelly's who I have been reading for a long time now. Take care

      Ian

       
    • At 15/02/2007, 17:16, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      UE,

      I knew you'd like that! :-*

      Ian,

      Welcome to Life in Qatar, and thanks. Hope you find something worth reading on my blog.

       
    • At 17/02/2007, 16:41, Blogger AmitL said…

      Very cute,interesting post,QC.

       
    • At 18/02/2007, 16:30, Anonymous Anonymous said…

      told you so. not worth it. never was, never will be. from the very beginning t'was always goin to end up with disaster. so there you go. cant have it all. so you better get a grip and get your self together while you still can, gurl.

       
    • At 19/02/2007, 23:06, Blogger eshda3wa said…

      really liked the post
      and its not worth it
      nothing ever is

       
    • At 24/02/2007, 17:00, Anonymous Anonymous said…

      you cant give what you do not have, and what you need u already have.

      it's good when you have it but you dont have to kill yourself looking for it.

      that's wine hangover from yesterday's party talking:P

      bullsshake

       
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