• You're not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat
• You think the uncut version of "Little House on the Prairie" is provocative
• You think every one's first name is Al
• You need a sweater when it's 80 degrees Fahrenheit
• You expect everyone to own a mobile phone
• Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the houseboy
• You believe that speed limits are only advisory
• You expect all police to drive BMWs or Merc's
• You know whether you are within missile range of Iraq
• You believe that the definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the time the light turns green and the time that the guy behind you begins to blow his horn
• You can't buy anything without asking for a discount
• You expect all stores to stay open till midnight
• You understand that 'wadi bashing' isn't a criminal act
• You make left turns from the far right lane
• You send friends a map instead of your address
• You understand why huge 4x4s must slow down to a snail's pace whilst crossing a speed bump yet hurtle through a wadi at 100kph
• You think that "Howareyou" is one word. So is "Mamsir"
• You think it perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a roundabout at 11pm
• You know exactly how much alcohol allowance you have left for the month
• You have a moon phase predictor on your computer
• You never say Saturday instead of Friday or Sunday instead of Saturday anymore
• You accept that there is no point in asking why you are not allowed to do something
• You expect queues to be 1 person deep and 40 people wide
• You realise that the black and white stripes in the road are not a zebra crossing, just bait to get tourists into the firing line
• Seeing guys welcome each other with a kiss and hold hands while walking no longer distracts you
• You carry 12 passport size photos around with you just in case
• You can tell the time by listening to the local mosque
• You think its a good night if there are fewer than 10 men for every woman in a bar
• Phrases like 'potato peeler', 'dish washer', 'coffee maker' and 'fly swatter' are no longer household items but are actually job titles
• You start to say "Insha'allah" when you actually mean "No f**king chance!"
• Habibi isn't just the ex-president of Indonesia
• You overtake a police car at 130KM/HRA
• Problem with your car AC or horn is more serious to you than a problem with the brakes

And last but not least: Why are there no dishwasher provisions in local villas? ... Because in local villas dishwashers are 'foreign made'.

;-)