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    29 October 2005
    To everything I ever lost
    I lost so many different things in my 30 years. The list is long and varied. Keys, phone numbers, bus tickets, documents, DVDs, pens, jewellery … Some things were stolen from me, some were borrowed for good, some others got broken, became obsolete or redundant, some got misplaced and were never found, and some things I threw away myself. I regularly throw things away as I am generally anti-clutter, and I give away or otherwise get rid of things I don’t or won’t use. Sometimes I throw stuff away when I am angry or upset. Hasn’t happened often, but there were a few things that I wish I never laid my eyes on under pressure. Couple of little pretty things I will miss dearly. I know that objects are not responsible for people’s actions, but sometimes they remind me of something or someone I’d rather forget, and I just can’t help it. It’s even worse when the issue is later resolved, but the pretty little “reminders” are gone. Awww…

    Not all things I lost were “things” per se. I lost people, conscience, trains, chances, fights, games, temper, interest, my way (regularly), my mind (on occasion), my nerve, my turn, my time and my spirit. I remember once I completely lost it, and was about to make what would have been a huge stupid mistake. Luckily, got myself together, thought it over, exhaled, counted to 10, said what I wanted to say, but didn’t do what I wanted to do. Smart girl…

    Losing people is never easy, either because it’s so hard being without someone, or because it’s so hard to shake someone off. I had to move from place to place quite a lot, making friends, leaving friends, losing friends. I lost people over time, distance, arguments, outside pressure, difference of opinions and incompatibility of characters, lack of tact, vulnerability, plain stupidity, temporary blindness, constant nagging or sudden loss of understanding on either side. Relatives, colleagues, classmates, ex boyfriends, ex best friends, neighbours, acquaintances, just nice people I happened to know, people I’ll most probably never meet again. I hope that somewhere out there some of them regret losing me too.

    However, I tend to think that it’s better to regret things I’ve done rather than regretting not having done something. So if I lost something along the way, it’s certainly better than not having lost what should have been lost. That’s why I will go on just as I always have, sometimes throwing some stuff away, but always looking forward to replacing it with new, unknown, unpredictable. And everyone and everything that I regret losing already have a special place in my heart, special memories and special moments. Nothing can take that away from me.

    Mieow
    posted by Bravecat @ 3:00 am  
    14 Comments:
    • At 29/10/2005, 08:54, Blogger Susanne said…

      Good post. I agree with you that it's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't.

      I'd like to be more spontaneous and not hold back as much as I do sometimes.

       
    • At 29/10/2005, 11:40, Blogger Yours Truly...Conman said…

      Absolutely beatifully thought.
      Yeah, I've lost too. But actually... what u said is right. That's life. You know... you meet people, they teach you one little thing, and then you move on. You meet someone else. They meet someone else.
      Life... it goes on.

       
    • At 29/10/2005, 14:50, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Susanne... We all hold back, and it can't be otherwise. We can't just walk in life without any emotional luggage, or without leaving a trace. The thing is to know when to hold back, and when to let go... You are so right, we should all try to be a little more spontaneous.. at times.

       
    • At 29/10/2005, 14:54, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Conman... If we could bring all these people together, you know - the ones we met and learned from, and lost (or kept) - what a weird bunch of people that would have been! Don't you think?

      =^..^=

       
    • At 29/10/2005, 16:02, Blogger Closet Diva said…

      Losing friends is one of the most painful things I had to go through. As for material objects, I never throw a thing!

       
    • At 29/10/2005, 16:37, Blogger Yours Truly...Conman said…

      I don't know... I like losing people from my life... its just too much fun.
      I'm weird.
      I think thats the only way to get to know new ones.

       
    • At 29/10/2005, 16:58, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      CD... You are NOT serious! Not a thing? I can only imagine what your room must be like...

      :^)

       
    • At 29/10/2005, 17:16, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Conman.. OK you ARE weird... Too much fun? Depends on the people you lose, I guess. I hate it when people just stick to you like glue. I mean, how can I lose them if they just won't go away? Then there are some others I don't want to lose no matter how many new ones I will meet. There can be nobody quite like them. I am sure you know a few people like that!

       
    • At 29/10/2005, 17:41, Blogger Yours Truly...Conman said…

      Na-aa... even if I like them way too much.... can't be with them forever...

       
    • At 29/10/2005, 17:55, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Conman... LOL don't say it to the girls... We KNOW it's never forever, but we reserve the right to get pissed when guys actually SAY that!

       
    • At 29/10/2005, 19:54, Blogger Closet Diva said…

      heheh..you should see my office!

      Conman: thats harsh!

       
    • At 29/10/2005, 20:49, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      LOL@CD... My boss can often be seen searching our trash bins for the things he needs but I happened to think otherwise... With me it's usually the case of "Oh, well, we can get another one, can't we?"

      :^)

       
    • At 12/07/2006, 23:59, Anonymous Anonymous said…

      Very nice site!
      » »

       
    • At 02/12/2006, 02:26, Anonymous Anonymous said…

      Hi QC,

      I agree with you some times you lose people you liked or even loved, for stupid reasons. You never forget these people, as for myelf i have very fond memories of a couple of special people I lost on the way to being what i am nowadays.

      I enjoy reading your blog :-)

      caw caw sbejha

      Maki (Malta)

      pc_manic@hotmail.com

       
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