Who am I?
Realistically idealistic daydreamer, seasoned procrastinator, atheist and monarchist with a secret agenda and a slight inclination towards voodoo practices.
My other stuff
  • QATAR BLAH BLAH
  • ExpatWoman
  • Facebook
  • Virtual Tourist
  • I Read
    Tennis
    16 May 2006
    At it again (updated)
    It's late in the evening, and of course I, being my usual self, i.e. lazy to go out or do anything else, am surfing the Net. I always surf with an idea in mind. Today's idea? Complicated. I came across "muta'a", or temporary marriage concept in Islam and (naturally) I was keen to find more information. I won't talk about the muta'a itself here for it needs little introduction to those who know what it is, and those who don't can always Google it out (as did yours truly). I won't even bother writing what I think about muta'a as I am sure that it will set off another debate in my comments section, ultimately leading to an exchange in unpleasantries. Instead, I will tell you about the surfing itself, and how important it is to NOT take everything you read for granted.

    Googling for "temporary marriage" brought an array of links, as I expected. Luckily for me, the first one I clicked on was a "dissertation completed in 1974 under the direction of Professor Abu 'l-Qasim Gurji of the Faculty of Theology at Tehran University". It looked and sounded credible enough for me to start my reading and getting some basics straight (which I did). But oh boy, what was to follow! A collection of the most weird sites which I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at. From forums that, predictably enough, looked like my comments sections after my religion related posts, to various Muslim and Christian organisations discussing pros and cons of each other, to personal accounts, Shia bashing sites, Christianity bashing sites, government law sites, etc. and half of these, of course, are conveniently blocked by Qtel.

    In a matter of 30 something minutes I learned that muta'a practice is allowed, used to be allowed but is not allowed now, was never allowed, is prohibited, is legal, is illegal, is allowed only for Shia, is allowed only in Iran, was allowed only for the Prophet (may Peace Be Upon Him), is relatively new in Iraq but is gaining ground, was never practiced in Iraq, has always been practiced in Iraq, is a legitimate source of income for single women, is a legalised prostitution scheme, is an honourable solution for travelling men, YOU NAME IT. And each and every author of every such statement based his/her argument on documented sources. My conclusion was the usual one: use your own head when deciding who and what to believe. It is amazing how much rubbish one can come across on the Net! For instance, on one site I clicked during my search I learned that Bible is a Gospel of Porn. I actually read some of the article, couldn't resist, and needless to say - I laughed my heart out on that one. Apparently, the Bible is a new (ok maybe not THAT new) Kama Sutra! And here we were all thinking that sex is sinful in Christianity. The Gospel of Porn begs to differ!

    Anyways, from there I went on searching for personal accounts of people who experienced muta'a first hand, and in one of those stories I came across Banat Al Riyadh book by a female Saudi author. Now, I've heard about this book, and as far as I know it's not yet translated in English, and I would love to get my hands on it as soon as it is. Many sites offer critique on the book (thankfully, in English), so I was able to learn from various credible and not so credible sources that the book is brilliant, total crap, beautifully written, horribly written in an internet language, is written in classical Arabic, in colloquial Arabic, in a mix of classical and colloquial Arabic, in chatroom English, nobody can understand this book, this book is easy to understand, the author is pretty (I loved that one!), the author is ugly, the book is only a success because the author is pretty, those who say the book is only a success because the author is pretty are jealous of the author's beauty, and so on. Once again, it was impossible to find out absolutely anything about the book that two critics would actually agree on. Solution: wait till I get the book and then judge for myself. However, I do tend to think that the book is good, if only because of all this controversy! ;-)

    My other interesting find in the search for muta'a was CAIR website. Lots of interesting info on life of Muslims in the USA, and well done to them. The amusing part of it is that some websites (rather credible ones, if I may say so) are of the opinion that the chairman of CAIR himself, Mr. Omar Ahmad, issued a statement (no less!) that Quran should be America's highest authority. This statement of his is widely publicised on various (mostly Western) sites. However, there is no mentioning of it in CAIR website, and many Muslim sites write that Mr. Ahmad had never said such a thing. Who do I believe? As usual, I would believe my common sense and dare to suggest that Mr. Ahmad might have said something along these lines, or rather something that had "Quran" and "America" in the same sentence, although of course nothing as far fetched as trying to substitute Constitution with the Quran, and then some over-zealous reporters inflated whatever it is he might or might not have said into what I was rather amused to read on a WorldNetDaily site.

    So here is the conclusion for the day's surfing: Internet is fun. It's a LOT of fun. But it is definitely worth checking the credentials of people who write the stuff we read, even if we agree with what they say (and I might add, especially if we agree with what they say - as there is little else that takes us off guard easier and makes us more gullible). Too often people would read the first thing they can get hold of and make up their mind based on that one piece of information alone. I think nowadays we need to take a look at a bigger picture, especially if the matter we are trying to research is new to us, controversial, sensitive or culturally different. Internet is a wealth of knowledge, viewpoints and opinions. And this was mine.

    UPDATE: OK so you want to talk about muta'a? Do your homework first. It came to my attention that Religious Policeman wrote a lovely post that discusses temporary marriages, among other interesting things. I thought you might want to have a look! Also, he cited the following article from Arab News (again about muta'a marriages) which I found extremely helpful in my search for information. Please have a look and tell me what you think :^)
    posted by Bravecat @ 11:49 pm  
    45 Comments:
    • At 17/05/2006, 12:32, Anonymous Rima said…

      I luv this post QCat! I was doing research for my uni project the other day and found too many sites online with confusing and contradicting info. Took me a very long time to sort it all out.

      Oh and the Gospel of Porn is fun! Thanks for the link!

       
    • At 17/05/2006, 14:49, Blogger Mystique said…

      OOOH MY MY
      Definetly you are in my earl grey to read blogs
      I loved it
      you have an amazing style

       
    • At 17/05/2006, 15:08, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Rima,

      Thanks and welcome. Good luck with your research, but make sure not to include citations from the Gospel of Porn :p

      Mystique,

      That's a great compliment, girl. Thanks a lot and I am flattered.

      :^)

       
    • At 17/05/2006, 15:29, Blogger raf* said…

      dear QC,

      for mut'ah, i suggest the wiki article - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikah_Mut%27ah

      as for Rajaa' al-Saani' -- yeah, she's pretty. but her book should be judged on its own, no?

      --raf*

      wwww.aqoul.com

       
    • At 17/05/2006, 18:28, Blogger confused arab chick said…

      I'd like to read Banat Al Riyadh too. Sad thing is, I too will have to wait for it to come out in English- athough I can read and write in Arabic.. its def not good enough to read a whole book.

      Oh well. I'm sure it will get translated soon enough.

       
    • At 17/05/2006, 20:07, Blogger peacefulmuslimah said…

      Come on Cat!

      Why can't we argue about mu'taa? Now that would get the juices -- and blood -- flowing! ;-)))

      Salaam,
      PM

       
    • At 17/05/2006, 20:54, Blogger Aoi_Chokoreto said…

      hello,,

      well as for muta'a,, what a load of bull lol.. i think people should choose to be either religious or to be players.. u can't manipulate religion to suit ir life style.. i know u didnt want to start a debate about muta'a here so i'll leave it at that..

      banat arriyadh on the other hand,, i looved!! i am from riyadh and the author went to my school (didnt know her personally but i remember her,, she was 3 grades above me) anyhoo,, everything she said is true,, and thats where the controversy kicks in,, ppl dont want to face the truth.. i do hope they translate it in english soon.. i'd love to hear western opinions on it.. the thing is,, the arabic she uses when its (saudi dialect) is hillairious! hope its still as funny translated..

      hmmmm,,, what else? lol

      about the net,, i had an exam today and didnt have the right books,, so when i was studying i used the net.. wikipedia (not reliable) at all actually.. nothing really is unless its borrowed from the library when it comes to studying (which i will be banned from for another month) i was chatting in the library..

      ok i've said too much.. nice post :-)

      POET

       
    • At 17/05/2006, 20:56, Anonymous jack said…

      PM,

      You know I'm game ... lets see what Catty has to say :)

       
    • At 18/05/2006, 04:49, Blogger U.E. said…

      Fascinating, fabulous, intelligent and fantastically verbose you are to me. Makes me want to crawl deeper into my hole of anti-social-isolation. :P

      Where am I? Nightshift.

      /heaves a giant sigh and burrows deeper

       
    • At 18/05/2006, 09:33, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Raf,

      Welcome, and thanks for the link to the article. Wiki was one of the first places I searched for information, and I thought the article was pretty OK and less biased then the most.
      As for Rajaa - of course the book should be judged on its own! Says a lot about the culture if the books are judged by the author's looks. This is actually the first time I hear about something like that!

      Chick,

      You are kidding? Why in the world can't you read Arabic? I'd give a lot to be able to learn - and you have everything for that (at least I am sure you can pronounce all the sounds) and yet you choose not to. Duhh..

      PM & Jack,

      LOL I can't stop you guys. But don't tell me later I didn't warn ya! Just keep it civilised, please :p
      The Religious Policeman wrote a nice post on the similar subject - here. I only saw it last night, I found it interesting, a great read. You might want to check it out!

      Poet,

      Thanks for visiting :^) Yeah I didn't want to start a debate about muta'a but it seems I'm overruled, so feel free.
      I could guess as much about the book, it simply has to be true because of all the info and critique on the net. Nobody would bother if she wrote a bunch of lies. I wonder if they are going to make it into a movie :)

      UE,

      When is your night shift over anyway?? Miss you :-*

       
    • At 18/05/2006, 09:45, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      And adding to the subject - I forgot to include the article on muta'a marriages that I really liked. So I am putting it here in the comments, and I think I will edit the post and squeeze it in there somewhere as well. Let me know what you think of it.

       
    • At 18/05/2006, 11:27, Blogger confused arab chick said…

      Cat,

      I can read- but it would probably take me a year to decipher the book, especially since it isn't written in "classical" Arabic. Yes, it's sad. Imperialism got the best of my linguistic abilities. My brain is 100% anglophone. Arabic def falls under the "second language" category.

      One day, I'll get around to trying to fix that.

       
    • At 18/05/2006, 12:15, Blogger raf* said…

      dear QC,

      since i'm a (recovering) academic, the wiki article was fine enough for me. no, it's not "biased" at all. it merely (& quite comprehensively) covers the issue.

      re: "religious policeman" - well, you know that he's a fraud ... but his commentary on the article about "nikah al-misyaar" is alright.

      please note that ""nikah al-misyaar" marriages are a relatively new thing - practised in egypt only for about 200 years & legalized there in 1999, and in k.s.a. only legalized in the late 20th century - whereas mut'ah marriages in shi'i islam are a muchmuch older practice.

      in the end - it's called "nikah al-misyaar" so the hanbali saudi religious establishment doesn't have to call it "mut'ah". i do wonder, though ... was there "nikah al-misyaar" in muhammad's time? & if not - wouldn't that make "nikah al-misyaar" a bid'a. ;)

      there are LOTS of khalijis/saudis who enter into "nikah al-misyaar" when they do summer vacation in egypt, syria, lebanon. in practice it's the equivalent of having a "summer girlfriend" - but by putting a legal stamp on it one can pretend it's all fine & dandy ...

      --raf*

      www.aqoul.com

       
    • At 18/05/2006, 12:27, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Chick,

      I envy you - you can actually do it. And I can't understand the reason why you don't! I would, if I were you. Then again, who am I to tell you that? I lost a couple of languages too, sigh. I used to be fluent in Spanish and Ukrainian - and now I can only read in both.

      Raf,

      I liked Wiki article. As for judging whether it is biased or not - I guess it's ok, but then I am not an authority on the issue at all. It didn't sound racist or hateful or disrespectful of anything and anyone - and that was great.
      Re: "religious policeman" - yeah I do guess he is a fraud, but I've never met the guy and I have to admit I am addicted to his blog. So fraud or not - I get a lot of interesting information from him so I should be nice about the whole thing.

      I don't know enough about this temporary marriage stuff (yet) to be able to differentiate between different types of it (yet), so I don't really understand the last part of your comment (yet) but I am getting there ;-)

      I have a mixed reaction to what I read about the whole issue - it seems like in certain cases it could be a dream solution but still there is something wrong with it. I am just trying to figure out what exactly puts me off. I am a great believer in "everything is ok as long as it is between consenting adults" kinda thing, so unless someone is forced into it or tricked into it - should be fine with me. And yet there is something that I don't like. Maybe it's the fact that the woman would ultimately end up a loser in most cases? I'll just keep on reading, I guess.

      :^)

       
    • At 18/05/2006, 12:38, Blogger Nzingha said…

      I was going to blog about Misyar aka booty calls but than decided it was a bit heavy when I'm about to go on vacation. I have more respect for muta'a because everyone goes in it knowing it will come to an end.

      the most mind blowing concept of misyar and those that support it is the claim it 'helps women'. Especially the widowed and 'spinsters'.

      Yea you'll have to hold out on my rant about this issue until after my return.

       
    • At 18/05/2006, 12:44, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Nzingha,

      Oh that's great! I'd LOVE to read what you have to say about it. I guess I'll have to wait till after your holidays. When are you coming back? ;-)
      I hope you will write about the differences between muta'a and misyar as well. I am still not quite sure what they are. But I guess the claim that either of those "help women, especially widows and spinsters" comes from the fact that it gives these women a chance of being intimate with a man and earn some money, without being called a slut. At least that's my understanding so far.

       
    • At 18/05/2006, 17:41, Blogger ahmed said…

      Misyar marrige to me is a legal prostitution. I am totally against it although I have few comments to raise. First, what has made Misyar so popular here? Simply because there were many customers!!! Women accepted this kind of marriage before men. Men have no issue against it and WHY would they? They are satisfying their needs with the minimum cost!! On top of all that, it's NOT haram.

      I knew an Omani friend who is misyari married to three wives. That’s including his first wife in Oman. He has one wife in Jeddah, one in Riyadh and one in Dammam. His repeated business trips to the Saudi have forced him to marry three wives, according to him. He was surprised when he knew that am not Misyari married. "ahmed! Why you are not married yet? Man you should have a Misyar marriage since its so popular here!!"

      I looked at him, silently I said to myself, Man you are sick!

       
    • At 18/05/2006, 18:05, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Ahmed,

      So you are saying that misyar marriage is a 1)legal prostitution and b) women's fault? Legal prostitution part I understand. However, your second argument I cannot understand. Is it a woman's fault she often has no other choice but to accept a misyar marriage? If she is a divorcee, a widow, past marriageable age (and in this parts of the world if you are over 30 and not married - you're an old maid), and such like - and misyar is legalised at the same time - what chances does a woman have to get married properly? Is it her fault? At least with misyar marriage she has a make-believe family life as opposed to a permanent spinsterhood. I doubt most women are happy with these marriages. Maybe a few are, but I am sure most would be happier if the traditions and public opinions on the whole marriage institution were a little more female-friendly and there was no stigma attached to non-virgin unmarried women (either divorcees, widows or whatever). Don't you think?
      And I am glad to know you oppose the kind of thinking your Omani friend seems to follow :^)

       
    • At 18/05/2006, 19:42, Anonymous jack said…

      "Muta'a" or “temporary marriage” came into being in Islam because of a necessity of war. Muta'a was allowed and sanctioned by Muhammad to keep his troops morale high. After the initial need of "Muta'a" or “temporary marriage” went away in Muhammad’s time he declared the act to be haram.

      I contend Muhammad had his eye on the big picture and always kept his eye on the big picture. And you ask what is the big picture? Well any well read muslim of the quran, hadith and sunna should be able to tell you. Islamic domination pure and simple. No true muslim will deny this fact. This Islamic domination for a muslim is a good thing. For a non-muslim it is a bad thing. Pretty simple.

      But like I said we know the roots of "Muta'a" come from war to futhur Islamic world domination ... as much of the Qaran,hadith and sunna does also.

       
    • At 18/05/2006, 20:30, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Jack,

      What a provocator you are. Now what does it have to do with Islamic world domination?

       
    • At 18/05/2006, 23:29, Blogger Mystique said…

      God I totally hate this Misyar, Friends marriage, Muta'a and all of these "Marketing names"

      I do believe if one wants to follow a religion, simply take it as it is, they are just modifying Islam to their own preferences, more of customizing a product to suit your needs and now I must say "Sexual needs, social, psychological, hermonal, financial .... etc needs)
      He simply wants a girl friend in lebanon or syria or or, so just to justify his action, and to over come guilt, The Holly Sheikh's modified Islam a little bit to be more convinient to THOSE "men", now they can simply shag and enjoy for a month, pay the girl some $$, and say Hey! that was fun, mesyar is cool, and still God Loves me!!

      Now that is what I call "Customization and Customerization" I totally forgot to use these examples in my marketing course last year!

      Cheers

       
    • At 19/05/2006, 01:09, Anonymous jack said…

      "Now what does it have to do with Islamic world domination?'

      Don't take your eye off the birdy Catty.

      Everything is in the submission for Allah/his Prophet ... everything.

      The Quran makes this very clear.

      "Muta'a" or "temporary marriage" was only a means to get to the end.

      Everything in the Quran is a means to the end.

      Keep your eye on the birdy!

       
    • At 19/05/2006, 03:08, Blogger confused arab chick said…

      QC,
      Funny- as soon as you "OKd" the discussion of mutaa'a- there you go, the comments counter skyrocketed.

      Jack,
      "I contend Muhammad had his eye on the big picture and always kept his eye on the big picture. And you ask what is the big picture? Well any well read muslim of the quran, hadith and sunna should be able to tell you. Islamic domination pure and simple. No true muslim will deny this fact. This Islamic domination for a muslim is a good thing. For a non-muslim it is a bad thing. Pretty simple....

      Muta'a" or "temporary marriage" was only a means to get to the end.

      Everything in the Quran is a means to the end...."

      What is it, exactly, that you are trying to say? I don't get it- you come on here and constantly ramble about how horrible Islam is.. blah blah blah, yawn, yawn, yawn. How about you say something new and original? We all know lots of Americans think Islam was written by Satan.

      If Islam, is so bad- why don't you go to Iraq and fight "terror" or something. I'm sick of hearing you complain.

       
    • At 19/05/2006, 04:29, Anonymous jack said…

      Ok CAC,

      Tell us how Muta'a began ... it's origin in Islam?

       
    • At 19/05/2006, 04:49, Anonymous jack said…

      "What is it, exactly, that you are trying to say?"

      I think I said it very clear. Islam or the Quran to be specific was written by Muhammads followers as best they understood from Muhammad himself.

      I assume you have read the Quran. I have several times and many of the verses many many times.

      The Quran is a political book that outlines how to rule a supposed "just" society according to Muhammad.

      What part do you not understand?

       
    • At 19/05/2006, 07:25, Blogger Susanne said…

      I agree that you have to be careful with what you read on the net.

      It goes both ways though- while anyone can put anything they like on a website, and this can be totally false, it's also democratic in that anyone who has a computer has the means to publish their thoughts etc, in a way that couldn't have happened before the internet.

       
    • At 19/05/2006, 08:44, Blogger confused arab chick said…

      Jack...

      ...and? That doesn't change the fact that you are constantly ranting about Islam's 'political doctrine'.

      ...by the way, where in my post did I bring up muta'a? Why should I explain muta'a? I wasn't discussing muta'a- I asked you to stop repeating yourself constantly. We get it! You dislike Islam, its guiding principles, its followers, its prophet. So effin what? Get over it, that's all I'm saying!

      Chances are you aren't going to "convert" any religious Muslims here (or anywhere else for that matter), since you don't listen to what they have to say- but your own imperialist interpretation of their faith. If you don't have anything productive to say....

       
    • At 19/05/2006, 14:16, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Girl Beyond Critique,

      LOL @ "Customization and Customerization"! That pretty much sums it all up, doesn't it? :p

      Jack,

      I OK'ed the discussion of muta'a marriages since people showed interest in the concept. I can't recall someone wanting to discuss Islam as a political doctrine or me OK'ing that.
      I never take my eyes off the birdie, by the way. It's just that your birdie and my birdie are of different species.

      Chick,

      Yeah, I know, sigh and yawn. I was actually hoping to hear/learn something new. Well, I won't give up hope as yet ;-) The subject of my post was totally different altogether.

       
    • At 19/05/2006, 16:59, Anonymous jack said…

      Why don't we just all bitch slap ol Jack?

      I brought you the documented root of how "muta'a marriages" began ... but let's harp on my interpretation of the reason :(

       
    • At 19/05/2006, 17:13, Blogger ahmed said…

      QC, my argument was that women should not accept this kind of marriages. YES! They should not. I mean seriously, what makes a woman marry a man who she knows that he coming to her for few hours once a month to have sex and leave!! Look at my Omani friend, he said Saudi women are more tolerant to Misyar than any other women in any country! Now, how he made such a belief? Because simply he found a lot of Saudis who are willing to have Misyar husbands. In addition to that, I consider him and all men who marry Misyar as irresponsible, ignorant a, abusive and they are using them (women).

       
    • At 19/05/2006, 17:54, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Jack,

      :p Nobody is bitch slapping you. But muta'a and Islam domination are not the same things.

      Ahmed,

      Don't you think that women might also want to have sex? And if they can't get married properly (for the reasons I have already mentioned) - what are the other choices left to them?

       
    • At 19/05/2006, 18:26, Blogger ahmed said…

      yes women want to have sex, but even, does that an excuse for them to have misyar? to disgrace themselves?

      you asked about options, and i don't know any. However, I won't consider Misyar is an option or a solution.

      ;o)

       
    • At 19/05/2006, 19:09, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Ahmed,

      And I think you are absolutely right.
      However, I am not so concerned with women "disgracing themselves" as my views on disgrace are rather different. Trying to be happy in the only possible way since the society does not allow any other, in my opinion, is not a disgrace. What IS a disgrace, however, is the fact that the society, while denying these unfortunate women a chance and practically pushing them into accepting misyar marriages, still claims that these women disgrace themselves in them. And since you think so too - I guess I am right.

       
    • At 19/05/2006, 22:17, Blogger peacefulmuslimah said…

      I don't buy misyar for a woman just to have sex. That's what her shower massage is for! ;-)))

      No women do it because they want love and they think to get a tiny crumb of that is better than nothing. They also probably think things will improve with time. They won't.

      Salaam,
      PM

       
    • At 20/05/2006, 14:50, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      PM,

      Don't tell me that sex and shower massage is the same thing. Besides, shower massage is definitely haram. Sex in misyar marriage is not. But I do agree with everything else. However, I think that a tiny crumb IS better than nothing. Besides, being alone really sucks.

       
    • At 20/05/2006, 16:32, Blogger peacefulmuslimah said…

      I'm just sayin'... Well, I won't say anymore about the shower massage but I don't agree about the idea that a misyar crumb is better than nothing. As long as a woman is not married she has the opportunity to find a full-time marriage partner. If she is in a misyar marriage, she cannot. Don't forget that while our dear hubbies may have up to 4 wives, we only get a shot at one decent man! The least he can do is honor us by announcing our marriage publicly, contribute to our support and build a home together with us. These conditions are almost never met in misyar unions.

      Salaam,
      PM

       
    • At 20/05/2006, 16:33, Blogger peacefulmuslimah said…

      haram/halal ... shower massage ... let's just say if I weren't married I'd probably take my chances on that one not being a major sin ;-)))

       
    • At 20/05/2006, 16:38, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      PM,

      I so agree agree agree... And yet, I would not judge women who choose misyar over nothing if they have no other option. As I have already told Ahmed - there are plenty women who are single and for one reason or another simply cannot find a husband.
      I am not saying misyar is good. I think it's evil. But I don't think women are to blame for it.

       
    • At 20/05/2006, 16:44, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      PM,

      LOL I agree!

      Well I don't see it as a sin at all anyways. Then again I don't see sex out of wedlock as a sin either ;-)

       
    • At 20/05/2006, 18:00, Blogger Desert Girl said…

      Mutaa?? Bring it on, baby! Mama needs a new set of Pirellis!

       
    • At 20/05/2006, 19:24, Blogger Bandarof said…

      I havent read all the comments not even the entire post cuz I[m a bit too busy but I would like to add something to this conversation and that is that Mut'a marriage was never part of the Islamic religion, it was an arabic tradition before Islam came about, and when Islam came it prohibited Muta'a marriage because it's a marriage solely based on sexual pleasure and everybody knows that a marriage based on sexual pleasure is bound to fail. I also agree with PM regarding the Misyar marriage, this also isn't an Islamic thing, this was something arabs used to do and when Islam came it was banned, but some people still do it to this day.

      Bandarof

       
    • At 21/05/2006, 09:54, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Desert Girl,

      Wow it works like that, too??? I'm in, I'm in! :D

      Bazza,

      You should have read the post, I think :p
      On the other hand, I am not trying to talk about muta'a as an "Islamic" thing. I am just talking about the concept in general, Islamic or not.
      And yes I guess marriage based on sexual pleasure is doomed to fail. Just like a marriage without sexual pleasure :p But then maybe it works differently in these parts of the world.

       
    • At 28/05/2006, 03:38, Blogger Amr said…

      Hi Qcat,
      I saw the link to your blog on SSC, and I have to say, I love the blog! I've only read a few posts, but I like it what I read. While I don't agree with some of your views, mainly because I am Muslim, I respect them and believe that this is whats really good about blogs - they open up your eyes.


      Now, as for the post, as a Sunni Muslim, I have never heard of this conecpt... probably because its pure BS. In these matters, I think logic just spells it out: if sex without marriage is allowed, then will playing house for an hour really make it halal? Please... just another way for some men to take advantage of women by trying to play aroud their religion.

      As for marriages based on sexual pleasure, it depends on what you view as a failure. You say that maybe it works differently in these parts of the world, but it really doesn't - just because divorce rates are not soring high doesn't mean that people are always happy. Look at it this way: divorce for women in the Gulf is like a disaster; because most marriages are arranged, women who have already been married are not seen as "desirable" and end up not getting married. Also, there is the risk of losing their rights to their children - plus, there is the financial aspect. So, women tend to not complain, and the arrangement is usually conveniant for men - the women provides sex, takes care of the children, etc. Yet, I believe that this is a complete failure of a marriage; the marriage ends up being one where the relationship between husband and wife is almost formal, and they don't really know each other.

      I do not want to stereotype, as I am sure this is not the case for a lot of people, but sadly, these cases do exist.

       
    • At 28/05/2006, 10:30, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Amr,

      Thanks and welcome to Life in Qatar! I am glad you like my blog.
      It is not my intention to prove anyone wrong - and I hope you could understand that from my blog. I am living and learning and I welcome any opportunity to see the world through someone else's eyes. I don't consider myself universally right.
      I liked what you said about marriages. I agree with you absolutely. I know that not everything is as rosy here as people would like others to think, and many couples would have been divorced by now had it been accepted by the society and family.

       
    • At 21/02/2007, 12:31, Anonymous Anonymous said…

      Dear Readers,

      To understand any subject,one needs a deep knowledge of the same failing which one would be shooting in the dark with tit bit knowledge.

      Muta marriage has been practised since times immemorial & it is certainly a form of sanctified marriage albeit the time factor.

      Unfortunately same is practised for hours or few days on which i would not like to pass any comment.

      Both man & woman entering the muta marriage is fully aware of their purposes.Nobody exploits anybody & everyone is a matured adult in this relationship (hopefully atleast 99%)

      In no way Muta marriage can be called prostitution or degraded.One should refrain unnecessary callings.

      One should not be biased about anything of this sort & one should gain in depth knowledge of same.

      best regards/prasad
      This is my opinion -pls accept or leave it.

       
    Post a Comment
    << Home
     
    Meet Me

    Name: Bravecat
    Home: Island of Love, Cyprus
    My profile
    Previous Posts
    Archives