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    16 August 2006
    Lets talk about sex
    I promised a fun post after slumbering for a while. I also promised I wouldn't talk about religion and politics. The wholy trinity of fun blog topics is well known: 1. Religion 2. Politics 3. Sex. As you can see, that didn't leave me with much to choose from :P

    My (only slightly) sexually frustrated friend Midget (Dohagirl) has just posted this little warning to the guys who don't perform up to standards. Although I might disagree when it comes to personal preferences, I do believe that she has a good point there: a man who knows what he is doing is definitely worth his weight in precious stones, and this is what I find really strange. I mean, how difficult can it be to please a girl?? Provided, of course, that the girl is not some frigid prude or a lazy diva who probably doesn't know herself what she wants but still expects the man to do all the work.

    At this point I should probably remind you that this blog belongs to an uninhibited Western girl and if you are offended by any or all of its contents, you should probably just leave.

    So what does it really take to rock our world? Apart from the obvious things that come to mind (personal hygiene, bedroom etiquette, physique, technique and stamina) there are lots of other highly personal elements that can be crucial to the achievement of the ultimate goal.

    And at this point I should probably reassure you that this is NOT the way I usually sound but I do have a nagging suspicion that not all those people who should have left my blog by now have done so. Therefore I better sound idiotically scientific than whorrific. Yes I know how to spell, thank you.

    Anyway, back to the point. It is no secret that the key to please your girl is to spend enough time with her to figure out, often by trial and error method, what she does and does not like. Usually in the beginning of the relationship general excitement of being together would take care of the minor glitches, but a few weeks into it a man should have a pretty solid idea of what is expected of him. (Here I was hoping to post some statistics for your review, but Qtel takes good care of us by blocking all the relevant sites so you'll have to do without).

    One of the most common bedroom faux pas men are guilty of is selfishness. I guess it's pretty self explanatory. Since we no longer believe that the sole purpose of sex is conceiving a child, since we already know that women can climax and since there is so much educational material available (well maybe not in Qatar), it is unforgivable that some men still believe it's OK to ignore girls' needs. A man may not succeed (some women can't climax at all, by the way, and here I was going to post more statistics but alas) but he has to do his very best to give us what we need. We will appreciate that.

    Another mistake is failing to tune in. It is truth universally acknowledged that women are complicated creatures, much more so than men. We have moods, we have our moments, we have our emotional needs, we have periods, cramps and PMS, sometimes we are not into it, sometimes we can't get enough, sometimes we want you to be rough and demanding while we happily submit, other times we want you to take it easy, or let us take the lead. If something worked for you one day it doesn't mean you should stick to it forever expecting the same result or get mad when it just doesn't do it the other day. Try different things, try to match your technique to our mood, experiment with different ideas. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, nothing is going to work, it's the fact of life. We are designed this way, it's not our fault, and the sooner you understand it and learn to cope with it the better for you :P

    Also, don't expect a girl to do a brazilian just because your ex did. If you think that she should - go have one yourself first and then come back and talk about it. If she wants to do it - that's her own personal choice. If she doesn't - let it be. You can voice your preferences of course, but you can't enforce them.

    3anooda mentioned something about faking in the comments. I don't know as to how common it is, and to be honest I can't understand why girls even bother. Is it to make the guy feel better, while missing out herself? Is it to let him know she's had enough and it's time to wrap it up? I've got no clue. Ideas, anyone?? I mean, it's relatively easy to tell if she's faking but I won't tell how on my blog, the girls might kill me!

    Fish has a valid point. Saliva may not be everyone's thing. While most people don't mind it, some people do. Guys, invest in lube. You may not need it (if you are that good or if your girl is that into you), but if you do you better have it. Otherwise you risk putting your girl out of business for a while. Especially if you're not lacking...

    Pillow talk. This can be a huge turn on and it can also ruin pretty much everything so tread lightly. As you can see in the comments there are few examples of what Fish, for instance, doesn't like to hear :P We do like to hear nice stuff, and at the same time we might be naughtier than you expect. Try something more or less neutral and see what happens. Don't think that the girl will be impressed by an X-rated monologue for starters!

    Latest addition: things out of the "beaten path". Be nice and work your way slowly. If she is not up to it - don't push it. Remember that this is not exactly "natural", and can hurt as hell. Give the girl time to be totally comfortable with you, make her confident that she can trust you with her body, and watch the results.
    Apparently lots of lube and little persuasion might do it. After all what wouldn't girls do for guys if guys know which buttons to push? Then again, some girls don't, period. Respect it. (I would like to bring to your attention that this part was submitted over a phone by a female friend who refused to be named here.)

    Hijacked addition: check the update on Midget's little warning post with regards to BJ. All I can add is this: the more - the better, and it goes both ways. If you want it, you've got to give it. And another very important point: experimenting is good, but once you manage to get the rythm (you'll know when that happens) stick to it and leave the experiments for later.

    Fish has also said something about comfort level. Some girls are ok with anything, some are the "lights off" type. I guess most girls are a little shy to begin with (I said most, not all, Midget) and it takes some time to get them comfortable enough to relax and just go with the flow. I think it applies for both parties, by the way.

    :^)
    posted by Bravecat @ 11:24 am  
    64 Comments:
    • At 16/08/2006, 12:34, Blogger Dohagirl said…

      On the subject of climax. When a women says "You know what I just don't think I'm going to cum today." Do not take that as a sign to try harder. By this point we have given up and we just want to get it over with. :)

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 12:38, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Midget,

      True. And not all of girls need to get it every time. But guys should try, every time. Unless we stop them or it's a quickie somewhere very inappropriate :^)

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 12:41, Blogger Dohagirl said…

      Like the bathroom at Rydges.

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 12:48, Blogger Flous said…

      Lol.. this post deinfately put me in a better mood. ThanQ.

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 12:48, Anonymous Fish said…

      or even better..the the crystal clear elevator at Rydges ;)

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 12:53, Blogger Mise said…

      I'm just going to keep reading the comments...I might learn something ;-D

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 13:11, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      I will probably keep updating the post itself, I have already added some more stuff, so don't forget to refresh it!

      :P

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 13:13, Blogger Dohagirl said…

      Just to let everyone know, I'm the ex with the brazillian, and I love it. ;)

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 13:21, Blogger 3anooda said…

      LOOOOOL

      Im loving this. and im hoping ur a qatari girl. cos then i would love it even more.

      guys please stop reading here.

      girls, FAKE IT. LOL.

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 13:45, Anonymous Fish said…

      oh yeah and corny bedroom cliches are an absolute no-no. things within the vicinity of -but not limited to-: "you are so big", "i feel so full", "yeah..how do you like this, b**ch" etc..

      also..at the risk of sounding grotesque GUYS lube was invented for a reason..saliva just ain't gonna cut it. EW! :\

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 13:55, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Fish,

      Umm, I was under impression that the first two cliches you mentioned are usually said by girls... Correct me if I am wrong :P

      Lube... now this is a good point. I am adding it to the main post.

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 13:56, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      I am SO getting blocked for all this, people, you just watch...

      Are you all going to rally to unblock me if it happens??

      :^)

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 14:04, Anonymous Anonymous said…

      Saliva is not that bad ... at 6 a.m. when u can't even open your eyes lol.

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 14:06, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Anon,

      I agree ;-) Lube is still important though.

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 14:09, Anonymous Fish said…

      yes i know. i'm just saying cheesy lines to stroke one another's ego could be a complete turn off.

      oh and i know someone who knows someone who can pull a few strings at Qtel to keep you off their blacklist ;)

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 14:13, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      3anooda,

      Sorry, I am not Qatari, lol. I can't see Qatari girls writing about this stuff, at least not yet. Hope you still like my blog though. Check out the update on the post that you inspired :^)

      Fish,

      You know I love you, don't you? DONT YOU?

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 14:29, Anonymous Fish said…

      i think it would also help if couples verbally discussed what makes them click sexually, rather than sticking to a "trial and error" attitude. i know a lot of couples would feel a bit weird about it but it does wonders when a man knows just exactly which buttons to push..

      oh and another thing. men should never EVER attempt to forcefully push a woman's comfort level. if you choose to get involved in a monogamous relationship then you just have to accept that your significant other may not always go for all your "suggestions"..

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 14:44, Blogger Dohagirl said…

      I find saliva works just fine. But I am permantely aroused. Kind of like a man. :)

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 15:48, Blogger GIASI said…

      I feel like a fish out of water (sorry Fish... no offence). I was going to comment but i got scared.

      You are worse than guys PMSL

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 16:14, Blogger Bandarof said…

      I love the way you break it down :D This is the only girl in the gulf who you can have an intellectual conversation with her about sex.

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 16:16, Blogger Dohagirl said…

      Thanks Banderof, I'll take that personally. :(

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 17:13, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Fish,

      Not everyone can actually discuss these things. Pity, really, as you said - it does wonders and actually turns people on when they are told what to do :^)

      Comfort level? Cool, another candidate for the main post.

      Midget,

      Save your frustration for your own blog :P :P

      GIASI,

      We are worse than guys of course. You just figured that out? But we don't get scared of little harmless discussion, and you do :P

      Bazza,

      Haha thanks! And quit p!$$!ng Midget off, she actually likes it.

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 21:11, Anonymous Anonymous said…

      and i was hoping ill find something about life in qatar!!

      aaaaaaaanyways, the good thing about never having sex before marriage, is ull never know what "better sex" means ;p

      ghost ><

       
    • At 16/08/2006, 23:28, Anonymous jack said…

      Yes yes ... the key for me has always to been to be creative as possible.

      Example ... she loves it when the washing machine hits the spin cycle. Guess it just vibrates ... ;)

       
    • At 17/08/2006, 03:14, Blogger frogman said…

      QC.. lool.. i leave you for a month and this is the post i come back to.. lol.. talk about spicing things up..

      i believe that a combination of talking about it AND trial & error works best.. specially if both parties are new to sex.. basically trial & error with feedback..

       
    • At 17/08/2006, 03:37, Blogger Abdurahman Warsame said…

      great post, and thanks for adding me to your blogroll

       
    • At 17/08/2006, 09:49, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Anon,

      I can see your point in that ;-) Too bad it won't work for me, and for like most people out there. Virgin brides and grooms are an anachronism these days.

      Jack,

      LOL it's the washing machine that's creative, not you :P

      Frogman,

      Agree agree agree. Actually, even when the parties are not new to sex, there will still be plenty of trial and error unless they stick to the routine. If you are willing to experiment - there will be mistakes. People who don't make mistakes don't make anything :^)

      AW,

      Thanks. I didn't add you to my blogroll though. It must be generic from QL. I am sorry but I have no idea who you are!

       
    • At 17/08/2006, 10:20, Blogger Mysterious said…

      How on EARTH did I end up here? :D

       
    • At 17/08/2006, 10:27, Blogger GIASI said…

      oh..im not scared about talking about it... im just scared of you three :P

       
    • At 17/08/2006, 10:49, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Mysterious,

      It's a mystery :P

      GIASI,

      You should be. We are very very scary.

       
    • At 17/08/2006, 11:49, Blogger Mise said…

      Judging by the number of comments on this one, you've got to write about sex more often QC :-D

       
    • At 17/08/2006, 11:50, Blogger Dohagirl said…

      Hey Cat, I'm very shy in bed! I require the lights on cause I'm scared of the dark. :(

       
    • At 17/08/2006, 19:56, Blogger Abdurahman Warsame said…

      Thanks anyway, i do recognize you from QL (my username is "easy"). I think it's the auto link from QL.

       
    • At 17/08/2006, 23:53, Blogger confused arab chick said…

      Cat,
      I'm gone for a week- and things start to get interesting around here.

      As for rallying to unblock you- IF it happens, (and I don't think that it will)- I'm there- I'll fight that Qtel till they're all worn out.

      You were saying something about the day a Qatari girl posts something similar to this.. I long for the day and will salute her for ballsy blogging. It's about fucking time. Pun intended. :P

      - Ciao

       
    • At 18/08/2006, 01:08, Blogger Sever said…

      Aunt, that`s a perfect post!
      & I read Dohagirl also.

      So "Virgin brides and grooms are an anachronism these days"?
      Thank you, dearest :-D

      I believe in one thing very much:
      until you can`t speak about it freely you will have problems (ok ok, probably, you are lucky & everything is perfect with both of you, then I`m glad).

      Actually, I could not imagine how it can be possible to discuss such things.
      Ok, funny talks are nothing.
      But real serious talks can help.
      I`m lucky.
      At least one of us don`t have this so called "block".

      So,

      1st - talks

      2nd - tries & errors

      3rd - if you are totally unlucky (especially if both of you are so), then ask God/Allah/Buddha/etc. for help.
      As I knew it`s not forbidden & such a request or blessing each other for the hardest business (& the most important one, of сourse ;-) )can work.
      At least in a humorous way :-D
      (It was a joke with the serious face:-P)

      As for me, I feel myself totally a problem specimen.
      But I`m a new one in this, so I`m closing my mouth & reading the oldest comrads, hoping to learn something :-P

      Very interesting post.
      & I enjoy reading all comments, too.
      I can`t go to sleep & can`t finish pletenie kosi4ek :P
      How I will wake up at 7 am, I don`t know :)

      Kisses.

      Loving you,
      silly Sever ;-)

      P.S. "And we need to talk sometime soon, I missed you." Just found it out. Yes. I miss you too & very much. So wait for my letter in the morning from my work email. Murrr...

       
    • At 18/08/2006, 01:09, Blogger Sever said…

      I have just realised.
      See, it`s a long post as you wished.
      I did not try.
      Just the topic is perfect :)

      Ok ok, I`m silent.

      Nighty night!

       
    • At 18/08/2006, 16:24, Blogger U.E. said…

      I hate leaving blog land and missing stuff like this. Jeez...

      So many personal arguments I'd love to make here! Of course, that's the point, it's different for each of us. But you're right... no matter your preferences there is little your man can't talk you into if he does it the right way. :p

       
    • At 18/08/2006, 16:33, Blogger 3anooda said…

      Dude it dont matter that ur not qatari. I just was gonna be very impressed if u were.

      Anywyas, I stopped talking so openly about sex because from the way i talked, i got a rep for being a non-virgin. as in i was talking from experience. now im bored. LOL

      LOOOOLZ @ confused arab chick. i love the "It's about fucking time. Pun intended. :P" line.

      mysterious, if you cant beat them join em.

       
    • At 18/08/2006, 21:31, Anonymous Jaguuuu said…

      Hmmm


      QC... thanks for all this usable material for a single guy over the weekend :P

       
    • At 18/08/2006, 23:09, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Chica,

      Thank you my friend, you were the only one who offered to fight for me!! Sniff..

      I am waiting for Qatari girls to get out of their cocoons and see life for what it is. Until then I am bound to read on Qatar Living hilarious stuff like "Only foreigners should obey laws in Qatar and Qatari people never break the laws of other countries and they should have it easy in their own, i.e. it's ok for them to break the law". This is what I currently get from Qatari girls. Not much to look forward to.

      Sever,

      Virgin bride :P :P Good luck with asking God for help. Let me know if it works. Did you manage to wake up at 7 after all??

      :-*

      UE,

      So true... Darn men!

      3anooda,

      LOL yeah I can imagine, it's tough. Strange though since I can remember myself and my girlfriends back in innocent years, we used to talk about sex all the time and nobody would think we were actually doing it.

      Jaguu,

      :P

       
    • At 18/08/2006, 23:10, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Mise,

      I just might :^)

      DG,

      :-|

       
    • At 19/08/2006, 01:58, Blogger Bandarof said…

      Cat,

      Yaaaaaaaaayyy....Sex education!!! Always good :D

      Midget,

      Kan you tell us about TOYS ??


      Bandarof

       
    • At 19/08/2006, 02:03, Blogger Bandarof said…

      Fish!!

      Why is Cat speakin in your behalf on this one?? Come out and play fishy fishy fishy fishy

      By the way, did anyone figure out the difference between the clitorisand the clitoria?? I'm waitin :D

      Bandarof

       
    • At 19/08/2006, 09:49, Blogger Mise said…

      Clitoria is a flowering plant....the other one? ...well, you've got me there! :-p

       
    • At 19/08/2006, 12:35, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Guys you're hilarious

      ROFL

       
    • At 19/08/2006, 23:23, Blogger Flous said…

      i agree with whats the point in faking it. he should know that u haven't gotten there, either he needs to work harder or find out what the problem is! maybe ur just not in the mood, cant a girl tell him that?! i dunno.... faking it just seems like alot of effort to be honest!

       
    • At 19/08/2006, 23:25, Blogger Silent Altitude said…

      Γειά σου γατούλα. Once again you managed to shake the still waters of the QTel.

      Φιλάκια

       
    • At 20/08/2006, 01:11, Blogger Nash said…

      Wow wow wow, thanks girls, for the insider tips... :)

       
    • At 20/08/2006, 11:02, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      I just found out that my blog was (or maybe still is) blocked in China :-|


      Flous,

      Yup that's how it is, lol. Any news on the quack?

      SA,

      I doubt it, but I'd like to think so :P

      Nash,

      Were they of any help?? ;-)

       
    • At 21/08/2006, 09:53, Blogger GIASI said…

      any guys out there faked it? :)

       
    • At 21/08/2006, 14:06, Blogger 3anooda said…

      gia sou silent attitude. kala eise??

      (sorry i couldnt resist showing off my greek reading and speaking skills)

      flous - maybe the girls are trying to spare the feelings of their men?!!

       
    • At 21/08/2006, 14:50, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      GIASI,

      I wonder, lol. Have you ever? :P

      3anooda,

      Whoah kalimera filenada! Milas ellinika?

       
    • At 21/08/2006, 15:15, Blogger GIASI said…

      Spitting on her back... works every time ;)

       
    • At 21/08/2006, 15:44, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      GIASI,

      You're a dirty old man but you have your moments of sheer brilliance. Spitting on her back? ROFL

       
    • At 21/08/2006, 16:43, Blogger 3anooda said…

      QC are u greek?? pilo liao ellinko!!

       
    • At 21/08/2006, 17:05, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      3anooda,

      Yup. Although I am trying to figure out what "pilo liao elliniko" means :P Perhaps it is supposed to be "milao liga ellinika"?

       
    • At 22/08/2006, 00:28, Blogger Nash said…

      Unfortunately not in solitude :(

       
    • At 22/08/2006, 10:26, Blogger 3anooda said…

      hehehehh well i was taught by a mix of greeks and cypriots. that was supposed to mean that i speak a little greek. LOL

       
    • At 22/08/2006, 11:27, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      Nash,

      :-|

      3anooda,

      Yup that's what I thought (and said) too. Where did you manage to find Greeks and Cypriots to learn from?? :^)

       
    • At 22/08/2006, 23:38, Blogger 3anooda said…

      some of my best friends from uni were greeks and cypriots. i love them to peices. i wish i could meet some greek people in muscat just for the sake of practicing the language because i love the language too.

      maybe i should take that job offer in Doha!!!!

       
    • At 23/08/2006, 22:52, Blogger Twix said…

      lol skipping half of what was said i can conclude why women dont enjoy it much.. coz u talk to much... seriously... stop talking and try to enjoy.. u dont like it.. fine we'll lay down and let u figure out what pleases u.. :p

       
    • At 24/08/2006, 08:55, Blogger Qatar Cat said…

      3anooda,

      Next time I am in Muscat, we'll practice! :D

      Abdulla,

      Women don't enjoy it much?? You've been with the wrong women! Or, maybe you're the wrong guy??

      :P

       
    • At 27/08/2006, 16:19, Blogger Susanne said…

      Great post cat.

      I'm really lucky to be with a guy who is awesome in bed. He's a very giving lover, and for only twenty, he's just, incredible. Sigh. I wish he was with me now...

       
    • At 30/08/2006, 11:20, Anonymous butterfly said…

      Awesome! Loved this post :)

      Particularly the bit about women when they cannot climax...Will tell you a little secret... I used to have that problem few years back and was really frustrated about it. So I learnt to be really really selfish and take control of my own pleasure...My trick is to touch myself whilst having sex...It always works. So boys, pls don't be offended if a girl does that in bed, it doesn't mean that you're bad or that your girl doesn't enjoy what you are doing...

       
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