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Realistically idealistic daydreamer, seasoned procrastinator, atheist and monarchist with a secret agenda and a slight inclination towards voodoo practices.
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    24 April 2008
    Driving rage
    Can I please use this opportunity to tell all the Jumeirah Jane cows (or rather Emirates Hills Jane cows) who drive like blind snails in the fast lane during busy hours of the morning in their Range Rovers full of kids, to #*$@^& @##!! Or go back home, or use the school bus, or I dunno, hire a decent driver with a smaller car, or at least use the freaking slow lane???

    Half of the morning traffic is due to them! With their oversized shades and peroxide ponytails, looking at their kids in the backseat rather than the road, they are a menace to all the other drivers! If the meaning of your life is to drive your kids to school, that doesn't mean you should deprive other people from being on time for other activities. Like, you know, WORK.

    Yesterday was the highlight. Two of the cows happened to meet on the road, and they actually drove alongside each other, windows open, talking, at a speed of I kid you not, 22 km/hr for like 10 minutes, bringing the traffic behind them nearly to a standstill.

    So yes, the planning of the roads is crap. For such a massive estate as Emirates Hills, there are only two exits, and the presence of these delinquents on the roads doesn't help. I only hope their kids won't grow up to be the same.

    I'm still at home, getting ready for work. And I am sure that when I drive out of the house and onto the road, there will be a bunch of cows in the fast lane, taking their sweet time returning from the school run. One of these days I'll ram my car into one of them, swear.
    posted by Bravecat @ 7:37 am  
    • At 24/04/2008, 10:01, Anonymous Jumeirah Jack said…

      Its just as bad elsewhere in Dubai, try JB road in the morning you'll see what I mean.

    • At 24/04/2008, 20:07, Blogger Bob said…

      What your car needs is a sidewinder missile system. These things are great. If the cow is holding up traffic 4 cars in front of you, the missile can be programmed to fly around the 3 cars between you and right up her tail pipe. Every car should come with one of these. Maybe you can find one on the black market.

    • At 24/04/2008, 20:38, Blogger Matt™ said…

      OMG, It was MY DREAM to have a missile system installed on my car one day in order to take care of just such situations... It makes me happy that someone else (Bob) also had the idea.

      Anyhow, I feel your pain, though the driving next to one-another talking thing is unique to Dubai... the main source of driving issues in BC is the HUGE percentage of elderly who flock here from the rest of Canada and the States... and they all drive monster-tank sized cars at a median speed of 30 km/h, just cause your retired and are literally going no where (besides to death) fast, doesn't mean the rest of the population is in the same boat (or Buick).

      LOVED this post Cat, much better.

    • At 24/04/2008, 20:39, Blogger Matt™ said…

      Oh, and are these 'cows' local soccer-moms or are they expats.. ?

    • At 24/04/2008, 21:13, Blogger Qatar Cat said…


      Well your nickname suggests that you bear the brunt, lol!! Gotta pay for the privilege, mate!


      Yeah I'd get me two of these, please!


      And I thought you have some Dubai experience!! Local moms with peroxide ponytails (!) driving their kids to school? You gotta be joking, man. They all have drivers and limos and such. Oh well, almost all, some actually have drivers and normal cars. I am talking about Western lazy cows whose husbands pay for their lives of leisure. Take the kid to work, go for a coffee with girlfriends, gossip, go do your nails or your hair (or both), pick the kid from school, drop the kid off at some activity or friend's house, go to the gym, hit the malls (or the spa), pick the kid up, drop the kid at home, go out with the husband for a meal and a drink, come home, etc - that kind of a lifestyle. AND they block the traffic in the morning when people are in a hurry to get to work!


    • At 25/04/2008, 02:27, Blogger Matt™ said…

      LOL, that basically describes my mom's lifestyle when we lived there... except she drove like a freaking bat-out-of-hell most of the time, not slowly, haha.

      I think Dubai has changed a LOT since we left 7 years ago, cause even these 'cows' seem like they were less common back then... or my memory is fuzzy, haha.

      I just remember thinking how weird it was to name a grocery store 'Spinneys'... lol. Oh, and "Safestway" to avoid lawsuits, hahaha !

      Oh dear, I'm laughing at myself, literally.

    • At 27/04/2008, 09:56, Anonymous belishabeacon said…

      I'm not sure which is better - cows in the fast lane or speedy "my pants are on fire" gonzalezes in the slow lane!

    • At 28/04/2008, 00:32, Blogger Panicos said…

      Χριστος Ανεστη Cat m!!!!!

    • At 28/04/2008, 19:09, Anonymous Anonymous said…

      I just miss you ;-(


    • At 29/04/2008, 05:22, Blogger firestarter said…

      I hate to generalize... but the worst driving performance I've seen was in arab states (though I haven't been to many)...

      Χριστός Ανέστη

    • At 29/04/2008, 07:53, Anonymous Qatarcat said…


      Yeah well your mom isn't here now so my beef is not with her, lol. By the way, Safestway and Spinneys are still very much alive :P


      I don't mind speeding people as much, as long as they are not tailgating me and forcing me off the road! But the slow drivers? Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!


      Χριστός Ανέστη agori mou :)


      I miss you lots too, so don't disappear.


      Agree - people in Arab states have a very peculiar way of driving, lol. However, have you been to Egypt, India or Iran?? Or Lebanon? Let's just say that "lane driving" is a foreign concept in these places. Χριστός Ανέστη!

    • At 03/05/2008, 17:56, Blogger ren_crow said…

      trust me the only day you'll start ramming your car into cows is when you work for mcdonalds meat packaging supplier.

    • At 03/05/2008, 20:35, Blogger Taras said…

      Shouldn’t there be legal penalties for such bottleneck behavior? Where’s the police?

      Anyway, you wouldn’t believe the traffic jams we have here in Kyiv! Our biggest problem comes from insufficient throughput capacity.

    • At 04/05/2008, 19:30, Blogger firestarter said…

      Yes I was in Egypt once. It was quite frightening to watch 2 coaches (and I was passenger in one of them) trying to push a car off the highway... To be honest, that car driver was a jerk, but I wouldn't kill him just for that :P

      That's when I realised that driving in Cyprus isn't that bad :)

    • At 06/05/2008, 17:56, Anonymous Anonymous said…

      It seems to me, there is no rules at all!
      Or, probably, they exist, but on paper only.
      In real life...

    • At 16/07/2008, 11:55, Anonymous Carlo said…

      Good Job! :)

    • At 24/08/2008, 07:49, Blogger aoc gold said…

      The Naughty Boy

      There was a naughty boy,

      And a naughty boy was he,

      He ran away to Scotland

      The people for to see

      Then he found
      That the ground

      Was as hard,

      That a yard

      Was as long,

      That a song

      Was as merry,

      That a cherry

      Was as red,

      That lead

      Was as weighty,

      That fourscore

      Was as eighty,

      That a door

      Was as wooden

      As in England
      So he stood in his shoes

      And he wonder'd;

      He stood in his shoes

      And he wonder'd.

      -----by aoc gold

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